The Story of David Kaspar

Last months announcement of a five blade razor prompted me to write about a much better alternative. A shave that is cheaper, closer and with less risk for razor burns or ingrown hair: the old fashioned wet shaving.

I used to be the ideal mass consumer. My deodorant, shaving cream and after shave all smelled the same and I was happily buying into the latest razor blade on the market. I could not resist names like 'Turbo', 'Speed' and 'Mega'; especially when put together.

This meant that I had to buy a new razor every 6 months. Of course that the cartridges for the old razor were not compatible but I just assumed that this was the price I had to pay to be using the latest and the best.

Boy was I wrong. After reading an article about old fashioned wet shaving and trying it out, I have been converted. The old bi-daily scraping has been replaced with daily wet shaving. If you are suffering from razor burns and/or ingrown hair, you have to give it a try.

There are three main components in a gratifying shave: a badger brush, a double edged safety razor and high quality shaving cream.

The badger brush will bring the most important change. It lifts up your beard and massages the skin to make it softer by using the brush in a circular motion

A natural badger brush traps a large amount of water which is then transferred to your face. Put some shaving cream in your palm and lather it up by making a circular motion with the brush.

Authentic badger brushes are quite costly. Go for the smallest size you can afford. Just make sure it's badger.

Traditional shaving soap is very rich and enables the blade to slide easily across your skin. It is made from natural ingredients which means you will not get it in 'Turbo Mint' but instead in coconut, violet or traditional sandal wood. Expect to pay around £13.50 for a large tub that will last more than 6 months.

The safety razor is a bit tricky to start with. You will not be able to shave with the famous ear-to-ear stroke seen in commercials. Instead you will be using many small and light strokes. Since there is only one blade the shaving angle is important but does not take long to get used to.

Double edged razor blades are very affordable. A pack of 10 best quality blades is £2.50 which means you can change them more often than those more-expensive-than-gold cartridges. Each blade has two edges so it's almost like a two blade cartridge. By having two edges you don't have to rinse the razor as often. Purely genious!

Don't splash any alcohol based products on your newly shaved skin. It has just been exfoliated by the shave and is very sensitive. Instead use a after shave moisturiseror or even better some Skin Food. It moisturizes the skin (non-greasy) and makes it amazingly elastic.

Shopping list:
----------------
Shaving brush - badger: £60 ($106)
Shaving cream: £13.50 ($24)
Safety razor: £25 + £2.50 ($48)
Skin food: £10 ($17)

I get my gear from the traditional English Geo. F. Trumper. They even have an online shop.

Hopefully you have a barber shop not too far away from you too.

P.S: Here is The Onion's comment on a five blade razor.

This one made me laugh the other night. Might have been because it was after several vodka cocktails.

Make sure to visit the BCC Collective for more of David Shrigley's and other good art...

A friend recently moved to London. Once again I was reminded about the basic things that are so difficult to accomplish once relocated to London.

Having a bank account is the main thing to arrange to be able to live and work in the capital. While some people manage to get by with cash only, I would not recommend it.

Banks in other countries I have lived in are very keen to secure new customers. They often give new customers perks just to sign up for a new current or savings account. In the UK it seems to be the opposite.

The process to open a current account is so complicated, many people fail trying. Among other countless things you need to provide is an utility bill (electricity, gas, phone, etc) to prove your identity and address. This may seem reasonable until you realise you need a 3-6 months of bank statements to be able to register with an utility company.

Another requirement in order to get a current account is having a monthly salary going in. Since most employers require you having a bank account to put your salary in you have to beg persuade one of them (the bank or the employer) to make an exception from standard protocol.

The thing that seems to work best, regarding bank accounts, is having a lump sum of money to deposit. Having £1,000-2,000 in cash greatly helps to get a bank account quickly but should that really be necessary in a developed country like the UK?

Update 10/11/20
The amount of cash that you are able to deposit into your account without providing evidence where you generated it has just been lowered considerably. It is supposed to be a money laundering deterrent.

A manager I talked to was not able to disclose the exact sum, not even in loose terms but it seems to be below US$100.

Funny thing is that the big fish criminals do not deposit money in their local branch. They just wire it from or to their off-shore accounts. It is average Joe customers, exchange students and tourists that will be affected the most.

An interesting incident below:

The last 4 years I have been struggling to motivate my self and to find the time to go to the gym.

Last 6 months I have finally enjoyed regular visits and it was down to several key issues that needed to be solved. If you also have the gym urge but never seem to find time, try the advice the below.

The gym needs to be near your home or your office. Maximum a 10 minute walk/cycle/drive away.

Get a locker at the gym where you can keep some of the things necessary for your work out that don't need washing. Running shoes, swimming trunks/goggles, boxing gloves and "cleaning products" are good candidates. Not having to lug these things back and forward will make the session more spontaneous.

Start with short and regular work-outs instead of monster passes every now and then. Once you are comfortable with the regular sessions, you can start increasing the length of the work out. A good start would be 30 minutes (not including shower and change).

Find an aerobic exercise that distracts you from the fact that you are working out. It may be boxing on a bag, reading while cycling or catching the latest movie while working the treadmill.

Force your self to put things aside when the time for work out arrives. Don't fall into the trap of telling your self that you have too much to do and cannot go to the gym. Everything will be where you left it when you come back one hour later; you will however be refreshed. Often I find solutions or different approaches to problems while working out.

You will sleep better. You will get stronger and have more stamina. You will get a better posture. You will loose weight. You could lower your cholesterol. The gym is your friend.

After installing central heating and re-opening the fireplace, we will not be needing this fella anymore. It is almost new, used less than 30 times.

This 3kW Delonghi oil-filled radiator offers you warmth quickly and effectively thanks to its large surface area. With 7 heat settings, thermostat and frost protection. For complete portability the radiator is on wheels. H64.5 x W68 x D24.5cm.

Features:

• Large surface area to transfer heat
• Low surface temperature
• 24 hour timer
• Extra fast warm up
• High speed convection

New price £130 (eg JohnLewis), our price: £75

UPDATE: SOLD

I bet you have been asking your self this very question a few times. Carla's late grandfather once told the reason and it has stuck with me ever since.

You see, a long, long time ago there was a dog party being held and it was one grand party. If you were any kind of quality dog you had to be there. The party was so popular, in fact all the world's dogs were there.

The dogs hung their tails in the cloak room as soon as their entered the party because this was a party with style. They received numbered tickets to properly identify their tails.

The party was lavish and there was a lot of dancing and sausage eating. One big fat female dog was barking with a smooth voice.

Suddenly panic broke out because a fire had started in the basement of the mansion. All the dogs were frantically running around and rushing for the exit. There was no time for searching for the right tail; each dog grabbed first tail available and hurried on out.

And this is why to this very day dogs still are looking for their own tail. Every time they meet a new dog they first check whether this tail could be their old misplaced one.

Back in 1998 I was tempted (lured) by an investment form that promised a tax free return. By paying a small percentage each year, when I later chose to cash in it would be tax free.

There was a choice of switching between funds and it seemed reasonable to get an average annual return of 10%.

Then the problems started. Being 1998 I invested mostly in tech funds. Fast-forward to 2003 and only 30% of my investment remains.

When I called my fund manager to see what the status was I was explained that not only had the fund decreased in value due to bad world economy (fair enough) but that there is also a minimum fee that I am paying each year to the fund manager. This irrespectively of whether the fund has positive or negative track record (not fair enough).

Even worse, because my humble investment had decreased a lot in value, the minimum annual fee was around 10% of my investment and increasing. When I questioned whether this was reasonable, that the fund needed an annual return of 10% in order for me not to loose any money, I was told a confident yes.

I disagree and will be taking out any pennies left and rather spend them on lollipops and bubble gums.

On the other hand, Kina is an upcoming investment possibility.

You may have come here due to your incorrect interpretation of the word booty. I just wanted to remind you that the word actually has more meanings than the one your naughty mind always associates it with.

Yes, it is a common (Afro American) slang for buttocks or casual sex but there is also an earlier meaning: Goods taken by pirates or plunder taken during time of war!

What is up with all the scam letters lately? The ones that claim you have won a large sum of money or a luxurious holiday.

Yesterday Carla received a new one. It pretended to be a parcel notice from Canada so I opened it. "You have won a Sony digital camera worth £599 or another item. Just send in £25 processing fee and £5 administration fee and you will receive your digital camera or another item.

What a bad start to the day. I saw a 70+ year old camel toe on my way to work.

Makes me wonder; is the camel toe wearing person not aware of the "fashion" feature or is it intentional? I would guess the former for an elderly person and the later for a younger female.

Personal note: what is the name for the male version of a camel toe?

Your transaction has been completed, and a receipt for your donation has been emailed to you. You may log into your account at www.paypal.com to view details of this transaction.

Your donation will help me fund booze, hookers and weed.

Just kidding, it is solely to help fund hosting costs.

David Kaspar.